Sixties Kid's Star Zebedee Found Out in Tragic Roundabout Round-up

VETERAN children’s entertainer Zebedee was last night arrested on charges relating to indecently assaulting a young girl, a fairground ride operator with learning difficulties and an underage snail. The offences are believed to date back to 1963.

The arrest comes just 24 hours after Cheshire police raided the home of Stuart Hall, the former It’s a Knockout presenter. The ashes of the late Eddie Waring are also believed to be helping with the enquiry, said to relate to an illicit “up and under” with a 15-year-old dressed as a giant marsupial.

In 1982, Zebedee was awarded the MBE in recognition of his work in promoting a positive image of the disabled. At the time, a Palace spokesman said: “Zebedee has proved to be a great role model for those facing physical challenges. He has become a British institution, despite being born with no lower limbs and a torso 50 per cent composed of coiled steel. He has endured many of his afflictions, including his comedy moustache, with considerable dignity and courage.”

Recent weeks, however, have seen speculation grow as to a darker side to the life of this once-feted jack-in-a box. One of his alleged victims, known, for legal reasons, only as “Miss F”, said: “When I first met him, he was the proprietor of a musical carousel that he told me had occult properties. At the time, I couldn’t believe he was interested in someone like me and when, after only about five minutes, he told me it was time for bed, I believed him. He also started asking me to “be nice” to a friend of us, a rabbit. I later learnt he was using me to pay off a drug debt.”

Waiting in the wings...

In a statement, the BBC this morning confirmed that Zebedee will not be appearing in a light-hearted five-minute slot before the news until enquiries have been completed. Speculation that The Herbs have been approached as a possible replacement could not be confirmed.

A spokesman for the Metropolitan Constabulary confirmed that arrest did not form part of Operation Yarrow “because he’s a puppet”.

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