The Mancunian Candidate

"Good job we booked..."

There used to be a bar in Houhai, central Beijing’s over-priced lakeside leisure zone, called simply “The Manchester Pub”. Simultaneously cramped yet empty, this diminutive drinkery sat oddly among its more garish and ubiquitously (and understandably) Asian-themed neighbours. In fact, it’s probably no longer there. 

Lined with black and white prints of obscure musicians from the 1980’s and blessed with a Brit-pop soundtrack that lured most would-be patrons elsewhere, The Manchester Pub had none of the hallmarks of a long-term fixture. Its chatty thirty-something proprietor, himself a Beijing native, confessed himself enthralled with all things Mancunian, particularly the city’s two great periods of musical glory – in the late 70s/early 80s and the mid-90s.

Perhaps sadly, he’s never visited the site of his affections, a two-million strong English city set some 5,100 miles to the west of Beijing.

It’s not unusual for Manchester, arguably Britain’s second city, to garner international renown. Typically, though, it’s the city’s sporting prowess, rather than its musical achievements, that have seen the city eclipse its northern English neighbours –most notably Leeds and Liverpool – in terms of global awareness. Manchester United is, without a doubt, the world’s leading football brand and, some would say, the most globally well-known sporting institution of them all. Critics of the team – and they are legion – dismiss it as having no local following, maintaining its fair-weather fans are more likely to be found in London or, indeed, in increasingly footie-fixated China.

Heathrow-upon-row

The Ring Way...

Despite the profile of its indomitable football team, though, this is not the primary reason for making Manchester your first port of call in the UK. That accolade must go to Manchester Airport (MAN), the UK’s only truly international airport to be based outside of the capital. Travellers from Asia, facing a 13-hour plus flight from the relatively civilised air hubs of Shanghai, Beijing or Hong Kong, really don’t deserve the full eight-hour time-shifted horror that is London Heathrow. LHR is, without a doubt, one of the worst, most inefficient, ungracious and badly-organised airports to be found in any supposedly developed economy.

Manchester is a small airport by comparison with LHR, but a hugely more civilised one in terms of actually gaining access to the UK. With tarmac to car park times in London now easily outstripping two hours or more, passengers arriving in Manc can safely assume to be well through the Green Channel within half an hour or so of touchdown, teeth ungritted and less disposed to inflict violence on any passing member of the UK Border Agency.

Currently, flying to Manchester from many of the major Asian hubs requires changing flights – typically in Dubai, Amsterdam, Helsinki or, as a definite last resort, LHR. This is set to change with direct flights from China to Manchester planned for the near future, a move publicly endorsed by George Osborne, the UK chancellor, at the end of April. So that’ll definitely happen then. With Manchester barely two hours by rail from London, direct flights could see this northern airport becoming the arrival point of choice for the growing number of Asia-based LHR-phobes.

After arriving in MAN, you’re barely 20 minutes from the city centre. It’s a fitting pilgrimage for visitors from Asia to tour this Victorian built city. Work on its imposing town hall began in 1868, with its construction funded by profits from the city’s status as the world’s first workshop. The garment trade flourished here long before the mills and factories of China and India were ever dreamt off, only finally disappearing in the 1950’s and 60’s.

The legacy of its ‘Cottonopolis’ years saw the city centre and its immediate environs saddled with massive former warehouses and abandoned industrial sites. While languishing throughout the 70’s and 80’s, these hulking structures have been latterly reclaimed as stylish canalside apartments and boutique hotels, returning residential life to the once-abandoned city centre.

This renewed trend for urban living provided a massive and much-needed boost for the city’s nightlife. As late as the early 90s, this consisted largely of dodgy pubs, tacky restaurants and terrible, but thankfully short-lived, night clubs. Massive investments throughout the 1990s transformed many northern English cities, with continental-style bars, Michelin-starred restaurants and trendy nightspots opening (and closing) on an almost daily basis.

Depsite the fact I left 8 years ago, Manchester people seem not to have forgotten (there is a possibility I am wrong about this one..,)

Manchester led the way in this, building on its already vibrant underground(ish) scene. The high church of low culture in Manchester was the legendary Hacienda, a club once billed by Newsweek as “the most famous in the world”. It was here that such legendary Manchester musos as New Order and The Smiths made their earliest appearances on stage. The Hacienda closed forever in 1997, a victim of financial mismanagement and too many drug-related fatalities. The site is now home to a block of upmarket apartments, though the name has been retained.

It is one of many stops on the surprisingly popular walking tour of Manchester’s recent musical history. As well as the Hacienda, the tour takes in the Free Trade Hall (where Bob Dylan legendarily outraged a generation of folkies by going electric for the first time) and the Dry 201 Bar (formerly the place for Hacienda pre-gig drinks and one of the many places where Liam Gallagher, the ex-Oasis frontman, is barred for life).

On the more contemporary scene for would-be quaffers, the Canal Street area remains the city’s most lively setting for late-night imbibing. Once billed as Manchester’s Gay Village, this ever-changing stretch of bars and restaurants has long been a heterosexual haunt, with partygoers attracted by its easy-going nature, late serving and high-energy music. Its transvestite cabaret nights are a nod to its more outré roots, but even here patrons are split pretty evenly among sexual proclivities. Ish.

The musical heritage and the nightlife are definite pluses for visitors to the city, but it’s the aforementioned sporting associations that loom largest. Even in the most non-English speaking parts of the world, the locals can usually manage three terms – “hello”, “Coca-Cola” and “Manchester United”. It is possibly the only team that is way more famous than the city that spawned it.

Fortunately for visiting fans, the club is as well-versed at

For that Rooney Mooney...

exploiting their expectations as it is at exploiting pretty much everything else. For £25 (HK$300) per person you can enjoy a behind-the-scenes tour of the team’s Old Trafford stadium. Should you wish to be personally guided, albeit somewhat slowly, around the club’s premises, you can book 75-year-old Wilf McGuiness (the team’s manager in its highly unsuccessful 1969-70 season) for an extra £100 (HK$1,200) per person. To cap off that perfect day, you can even purchase a special offer three-pack of United branded undercrackers for just £6.79 (HK$82) on the way out.

On a cautionary note, the tours are often booked up well in advance (even more so in light of the team once again topping the Premier League this year), so it’s well worth making a reservation on the club’s website prior to your arrival. Should no slots prove available, you can just take pot luck and turn up on spec at the Ethihad Stadium, home to United’s one-time rivals, Manchester City, where there’s seldom a queue. No-one ever does though.

For Chinese tourists, more than for any other nationality, partiality to their native country’s cuisine always looms large among any travel concerns. Fortunately, Manchester boasts one of Europe’s largest China Towns and is home to the Yang Sing, a Cantonese restaurant regularly hailed as one of the finest in Europe.

The historic links between China and Manchester has seen it won the accolade of being a “Dragon City’, the only such metropolis in Europe. Along with the world’s other three non-Asian Dragon Cities – Perth, San Francisco and Vancouver, the honour is in recognition of the size of each city’s long-term Chinese communities and (allegedly) the strength of their abiding Triad connections.

The Pink Hand Gang

The centrepiece of Manchester’s very centrally-sited China Town is an Imperial Chinese Archway, presented to the city by the Chinese government back in 1987. It is said to be one of the finest and most ornate such structures outside of the Mainland. On Sundays, it proves the focal point for the North of England’s largest Chinese market, with traders and buyers travelling from across the region to attend.

For those looking more for luxury shopping than a taste of home cooking, Manchester boasts an impressive array of designer shops and branded outlets. The best place to head for is the Trafford Centre, set some 15 minutes by taxi from central Manchester. The centre, apparently the second largest retail space in the UK, boasts many of the world’s leading luxury stores, including a Selfridges, the exclusive high-end department store – the first such outlet to open outside London.

The downside of the success of the 15-year-old Trafford Centre is that it has pretty much killed off city centre shopping in Manchester. Particularly to be avoided – unless you are in the market for lukewarm sausage rolls and remaindered books – is the Arndale Centre, a horrific hangover from the very worst architectural practices of the 1970’s. Back in 1996, the centre was targetted by the Irish Republican Army. Few mourned the bomb damage done to the Arndale and fewer still celebrated its refurbished return to service several years later. 

Far more recent and more architecturally appealing are Urbis and the Imperial War Museum North, two of the city’s most admired landmarks. Set in the city centre, Urbis opened in 2002 as a space for artistic events and temporary exhibitions. Financial pressures forced its closure, before its successful reopening in 2012 saw it reimagined as the National Football Museum, home to historic souvenirs of the glorious game and a range of interactive exhibits and activities.

A little further out is the Imperial War Museum North, designed by Daniel Libeskind, the architect responsible for the Run Shaw Creative Media Centre in Hong Kong. The museum, which opened in 2002, has won awards for both its design and the quality of its highly-interactive “experiential” war-time exhibits. Set near the Old Trafford football ground, it makes an ideal pairing with a visit to the “Theatre of Dreams” as United fans seem contractually bound to refer to United’s stadium.

A gratuitous pic of a twat

Aside from Manchester’s own sundry attractions, the city with its range of excellent hotels (The Lowry, The Midland and the skyline-dominating Hilton come particularly recommended) is the ideal base for exploring the other delights of north-west England. The picturesque Lake District, one of the UK’s most appealing locations is just 65 miles away, while the far more visceral charms of Blackpool, one of England’s most traditional holiday towns, are only 48 miles away.

While a Chinese influence is hugely apparent in Manchester, with the community annually boosted by a vast number of Mainland and Hong Kong students enrolling at the city’s hi-tech friendly university, it may still be a few years before it plays host to a tiny, cramped “Beijing Pub”. When that day comes, and an enthusiastic 30-plus Mancunian gamely ushers visitors in to listen to his favourite Canto-pop hits of yesteryear, while admiring his collection of sepia-ed Super Girl shots, then China’s global conquest will truly be complete. 


Not entirely as planned, this is my valedictory piece for Gafencu Men. Kind of appropriate, eh kismet fans? http://www.igafencu.com/gm/men_en.php